"Disappointing maternity care"

2 years ago I was pregnant with my first child. I had gestational diabetes and at 36 weeks on a routine check with the diabetes team at South Tyneside I was asked when I wanted to give birth. I knew I was going to be induced because of the GD but I was still startled by the question because I was under the impression that as the more experienced professionals in this scenario they would advise me on when would be best - and 36 weeks seemed very early to me. At my growth scan an hour earlier the baby apparently measured "big" with 3.5 kg (7 lb 11). I said that I didn't really know but I was in discomfort with my hips so sooner rather than later. The consultant immediately booked me in for induction for the following week. I went in to the maternity ward at Sunderland on Wednesday afternoon and had my first pessary early Thursday morning.

As it was May 2020 and in the middle of the Pandemic my husband was not allowed to stay with me. I was in a room alone, about to have my first child, so naturally I was worried sick about the whole process and on top of that, left without any support or family. The pessaries did nothing and my body was clearly not ready at all to deliver this baby. I had another pessary Thursday evening and another on Friday morning. I was told that if this 3rd one did not do anything then we would have to get the doctor in again to check me over and give approval for a 4th pessary. The 3rd one did nothing and I was told by the doctor that if this 4th one did not work I would have to have a C-section. Because they had started the process of inducing labour they could not stop it and the baby had to come out either way.

Luckily on Saturday morning I had just about 1 cm opening and after 2 different midwifes prodded around my cervix the last one finally managed to break my waters. My husband was called and I was put on oxytocin. A couple of hours after, the contractions started. I asked for an epidural, this was provided, however as soon as the anaesthetist placed the epidural they then turned around to get something and pulled it back out (accidents happen I suppose but this was just adding to a very distressing experience). When they redid the epidural a second time it was off balance and I was only numb on part of my body. After the birth I also experienced backache for weeks which I believe to be due to this misalignment. Anyway, I was less in pain and happy to wait for my baby.

At 6:00 PM I was finally fully dilated. I was told to wait a bit longer to allow the baby to drop a bit more. At 8:00 PM I could finally start pushing. At first this did not advance very well as I was very tired after three days of no sleep and worry. After 2 hours of pushing, they sent for the doctor at 10:00 PM. They came in and started that I would have to be prepared for a C-section. Because my husband and I are aware of the risks related to this for future pregnancies we refused.  As my husband was talking to the doctor I immediately started pushing harder and was suddenly full of adrenaline that helped to push the baby's head out in the next half an hour.

The doctor had left somewhere in this half an hour though I have no recollection of anything they might have said or done. My baby had been born and it was finally over. Our son had a heart murmur and we had to stay over to have his heart checked by the paediatrician. All was well. We struggled a lot with changing the first nappy full of black meconium - it was everywhere. Even though there was a nurse in the room she didn't offer any advice and just watched us struggle. We had some warm water and cotton balls because we had been advised not to use baby wipes we didn't dare to use them under the stern eye of the nurse. It felt a lot like we were being watched and judged and very limited help and advice had been offered.

When we asked questions we were told it was all normal. After seeing the paediatrician the heart murmur had resolved itself and we were discharged and allowed to go home or because it was midnight we could opt to stay until the morning. Seeing as we were not very happy in the delivery room we decided to go home.

Our son was born at 37 weeks and weighed only 3 kg (6.6 lbs). If I had known better at the time I would have insisted to wait until at least 39 weeks, and I believe that the consultant who booked me in for induction should not have done so at the early gestation of 37 weeks. It has caused me to have a very long and difficult first labour with a lot of scares. I have now lost all trust in the NHS services, in particular this hospital. While the midwives were all friendly and accommodating, none of them and none of the doctors and consultants seem knowledgeable or up to date with today's modern medicine practices.  I feel like I made the wrong decision to listen to them.