"I always leave feeling reassured and calm"

Earlier this year I went for a routine colonoscopy after my bowel screening came back positive for blood. On this day my world turned upside down, I was told there and then they were 95% certain I had cancer!!

I am a very nervous and anxious person and struggled to deal with this information, my story only gets worse. In the first instance I had to go for 5 weeks radiotherapy with tablet Chemo alongside it - the first 2 weeks of this was OK, but then the pain in my lower private parts got so intense, everything was on fire but I kept going because it was zapping my cancer. The plan was to give my body 12 weeks to recover from this chemo/radiotherapy so after the 12 weeks I was scanned again to determine my surgery and also to plan for a permanent stoma bag which took time to get my head round but I accepted this.

This is when I got the devastating news that my cancer had spread to my liver and lungs and that surgery was no longer an option and my cancer was now incurable!! 

My anxiety took over my mind and body and I honestly could not cope with this information!!

My doctor advised me to attend the oncology psychology service which I agreed because I really needed help. I had no idea what to expect and I was introduced to Rachel and all I can say is this service has been invaluable to me and I’ve never been so grateful for the help I’ve received from Rachel. I’ve learned new coping mechanisms and help with my anxious mind. Rachel takes time to listen to me and calmly gives me help with my problems and actually gives me permission to say it’s OK to not be OK if that makes sense!! 

Rachel is so calm and friendly and really understands what I’m trying to say!! With my anxiety I’m not good at going to anything new or meeting new people on my own but Rachel put me at ease the first time we met. My first session I was in bits and in tears and had myself dead and buried, we done a good grounding exercise which was so good and I use this a lot at home and by the time I left the appointment I was calm and new that this service was going to be good for me.

Every session I have had I learn new techniques and I always leave feeling reassured and calm. I am so so grateful for this service. 

I am still attending Rachel as I’m not good at doors closing in my life and Rachel understands me and is happy for me to keep going to see her for now.

I just want to say how grateful I am for this service as without it I’m sure I would be a mess.