"Coercion, fear mongering, unnecessary over medicalisation"

Towards the end of my pregnancy, scans showed that my baby was measuring small. Based on this alone and the fact I was past 37 weeks, consultants began to badger me to agree to an induction or a c-section. I made it very clear that this was not something I wanted. I repeatedly told them no but I was happy to have extra monitoring instead. I was badgered at every appointment and frequently told things such as it was my choice to risk a stillbirth. I was only ever given information that would push me towards choosing induction and information such as induction being harder on smaller babies was never given to me, this was something I found from my own research.

The mental strain put on me from these appointments has left a lasting effect and this went on for weeks. I eventually caved from all the pressure and the fact that mentally I was not coping. I believe that I was not giving informed consent but that it was coerced and ultimately led to a complicated and drawn out labour that derailed all my birth plans and I worry that I now have PTSD and I am struggling to enjoy my time with my newborn. 

While in labour, I had made it very clear that I was terrified of needles, despite this, while I was in active labour, I had medical staff at my side asking to put a cannula in my hand while I was pushing my son's head out of my body. Initially I had agreed very reluctantly to have the drip because I was told that after 4 hours of my waters being broken, if contractions hadn't ramped up then they weren't likely to. This was absolutely not the case and my contractions ramped up very quickly on their own. I very clearly did not need the hormone drip yet I was still being pestered to have a cannula for absolutely no reason. 

I felt terrified in labour, assaulted and like I was on a battlefield whilst at my most vulnerable. I feel that hospital policy was more important than patient safety and wellbeing. 

Afterwards I was forced to stay on Ashgrove ward. I didn't sleep for 3 days. My family were so concerned for my mental and physical wellbeing because I was absolutely falling apart. It is impossible to rest on the wards and I was isolated from much needed support. I have anxiety and autism and the noise and strangers was overwhelming. Doctors also wanted to put a cannula in my baby's hand in case he had an infection. When I asked if he was showing signs of infection they said he was showing none at all. They just wanted to do it in case which, was over the top. I said no and was told that they might just do it anyway if the consultant didn't agree with my decision. My son was fine and never developed any signs of infection. 

Giving birth on Aberdeen labour ward was awful. I didn't feel like a person and I felt like I lost all autonomy which was too much to deal with due to a previous sexual assault. My first labour did not trigger problems with my sexual assault history, but my second very much has.

I did thankfully get to start in the Midwife Unit thanks to the Inverurie Midwifery team were wonderful and advocated for me, supported all of my decisions and rationally represented information without trying to force my hand. I think if hospital policy wasn't so rigid (and staffing wasn't such a problem in Inverurie), I could have had my waters broken and laboured in Inverurie and had a much more positive and supportive experience. Or if I hadn't been bombarded with so much pressure then I could have gone into labour naturally and had a safe labour at home.