"I have nothing. No health, no life. And no hope."

I received a phone call and then received a letter on Thursday about having surgery on the following Monday. Then it was cancelled by the Pain Teams Anaesthetist who did not bother speaking to me or tell me themselves. They decided, somehow, that I was on too many painkillers (despite having been operated on 3 yrs ago when I was on the exact same amount) and is now refusing to operate until my painkillers are reduced.

My Pain won’t decrease until I have the surgery yet I can’t have the surgery until the pain medication drops to whatever the acceptable level is (even I don't fully know what that is) so I’m trapped in an un-winnable situation. 

Can't stop painkillers because I'm in pain, can't have surgery that will reduce my pain due to painkillers. 

The way this has been handled is disgusting. I've been waiting 96 weeks now for surgery. If someone had bothered to tell me that it was being blocked for 2yrs due to my pain meds and an anaesthetist I've met once - we could have fixed it by now. Instead I'm in searing pain whilst reducing painkillers.

I have had to stop working, cancelled all my classes and can't leave the house due to pain. This 'reduction' of painkillers has destroyed my entire quality of life in the past 2 months. I have nothing. No health, no creative outlet, no classes, no life. And no hope.