"Wellbeing Team During Pregnancy"

During pregnancy I asked for extra support because of the difficulties that I experience as an autistic woman. I was placed under the care of the wellbeing team at Chesterfield Royal Hospital's antenatal clinic.

We had several face-to-face appointments with this NHS team and each appointment left us feeling much better supported, prepared and capable for what was about to come

Me and my partner are both people who need and value preparation, research and consistency. Jemma and Laura, two lovely midwives from the wellbeing team, made sure that one of them would be available for every hospital appointment so that I felt safer having familiar faces there and to ensure that the specific care I needed was followed. This was because we had identified that I struggle to advocate for myself and silence my own needs to prioritise other people's comfort in order to make the environment I'm in feel calm and safe. Therefore, having someone there to speak up for what I need without putting that pressure on me had helped in a big way. 

One incident happened during an antenatal blood test appointment where my voice went unheard and caused me distress, but the wellbeing team  were there to rectify the situation and make sure that I was okay in a way that the other nurses and midwives weren't equipped to at the time.

Jemma took the time to show us around one of the empty birthing rooms. I got to ask lots of questions about the birthing baths which was something that I really wanted to use all being well. Finding out that being in the bath to give birth could offer a more hands off and family intimate method of delivery set my mind at ease.

Knowing that the sensation and sound of the water will put me in the best possible state of mental comfort is something that I was able to potentially look forward to in this overwhelming and alien situation. 

In another appointment with Jemma, she made an effort to draw diagrams of how some of the birthing equipment is used because I found that easier to understand. She also extended the length of my appointment to give me time to understand the information that I was asking for and never made me feel like I was a burden or taking up her time in a negative way.

Me and partner have the kind of emotional relationship where our moods greatly affect one another and having him involved in the wellbeing appointments and given the space to talk about how he was feeling as well as having his questions about what to expect answered in a helpful way, meant that he was calm and felt confident that I was looked after in a way that benefited me and is as a family. It helped him to feel calm and strong enough to support me through the stressful and tough bits. It made me so much happier and positive minded about what birth could be like for the both of us. 

Another appointment had us go through what to expect when things don't go to plan. We were shown the medical devices that could be used and talk through what everything actually is and how it might affect me/baby.

After my baby as born, both Jemma and Laura came to visit us on the ward to see how we all were and ask if there was any further support they could give us. Laura also made the effort to arrange it so that she was one of the midwives to visit us at home on day 5. This meant a lot us.

Through this support, we have worked out where my needle phobia comes from and that it isn't a needle phobia, it's a sensory response to blood tests and being touched/having pressure applied to an area of my body that I'm really not comfortable being touched on. 

Having blood taken from my hand instead is much better and to know that I can have my blood taken without having an internal meltdown has made me feel so much less ashamed, incapable and silly. It made me feel normal for the first time in a long time. It's hard to explain to those who don't share that experience how powerful that little thing is.

Without this extra support, I would have struggled silently and spiralled. I think it went a long way in protecting me from a bad case of postnatal depression which is something that I was anxious and concerned about. 

Asking for help is difficult when I can't find the language for what I need or struggle to pinpoint the specific problems I'm dealing with. Thanks to the care from these two women in their role and the time they could give me, I felt stronger in myself and was able to have the medical experience that I wanted and needed. And all of this led to birthing a healthy and happy baby boy who is well supported. That means the world to me. 

The antenatal wellbeing team is a vital service.

Thank you so much.