"Dementia care for my partner"

When my partner was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in her 50s, our world changed. As her full time carer I felt adrift in coming to terms with the grief of The Long Goodbye and identifying help and support that was available. The challenge was there was not one source of help or information or any Alzheimer's Plan. I felt life was like a fast spinning roundabout and that I needed to jump on, hold on tight and start from there. It also soon became apparent that my partner with her illness was seen as a tick box exercise by the doctor and that we were left mopping the floor rather than fixing the tap.

Fast forward several months, two contacts that have made a difference through help, understanding and that rare quality humanity are: Vicki, Community Psychiatric Nurse; and Hazel, Occupational Therapist of the North Ayrshire Health and Social Care Partnership.

Both these ladies portray the difference between someone who just does a job to a friend. They being the latter. I say friend because that's how we view their visits. In our life of living with Alzheimer's, moments & minutes are important compared to the usual wait of months experienced previously. Vicki & Hazel have both helped identify solutions and adhere to a simple yet effective rule of promises made, promises kept. 

Their visits are now more than just a check-up and help, but I actually see a physical and happy change in my partner when they come. It has perhaps taken this curse of a disease for us to experience what real humanity exists out there.

Our biggest challenge locally is there are too many sources rather than a one stop shop of help. This has been a frustration as I mop the floor frantically to ensure my partner has the best access to help. Not everyone is able or capable to do this and moments will be lost.

As we navigate this mental illness, I think of those that will follow in our path or those currently adrift out there without this help. We have become determined to pass forward the help available we have learned as we collate a list of help and benefits as a one stop shop. Not just a bundle of print-offs where others have to discover themselves, but a personalised and solution-focussed help. By default rather than by design, we have become Dementia Activisits. He who helps one person, helps the world.