I have been in severe distress with growing suicide ideation. I spoke to the local out of hours Crisis Team (the person I spoke to was brilliant). This person suggested that I book an appointment with my ex consultant (no longer under his care) as I needed help.
Notes on the local computer system said that my ex consultant had welcomed me making an appointment if ever I needed to see him so I was not imagining this part. I tried to do this only to find that he had had a complete turn around and would only see my if the CPN thought it necessary.
I do not have an appointment with this CPN for another 2 weeks so by then the "crisis" will either be over or I might take a more successful overdose this time (my husband caught me attemtping suicide). In the end it was suggested that I visit our local Adult MH Services duty desk which I have done. The person I saw was lovely, kind and listened. They said that I am having a crisis at the moment, would write out a report and ensure my ex consultant and CPN get a copy. What they will do with that information I do not know.
I have a WRAP and am well aware of "mindfulness" but was past being able to use either.
It took a lot of courage for me to call even the Crisis Team because I have huge guilt issues over wasting the healthcare system's time in that somebody more deserving needs their help or because I feel that I am a fraud who is about to get caught out (healthcare professionals constantly reassure me that neither is true).
Because of the reaction of my ex consultant I now feel even more worthless and even more guilty for making any calls in the first place. I feel as if they now think I am making things up (which I am not) and should either be ignored or wiped away. I feel let down by the system just when I needed it most.
Maybe if I was the sort of patient / service user that created a fuss all the time I would be listened to and helped through.
"Adult Mental Health Services"
About: Adult mental health Adult mental health SO40 2RZ
Posted by Ilovecats (as ),
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Responses
See more responses from Amy Gaskin-Williams
See more responses from Hampshire and Isle of Wight Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust
Update posted by Ilovecats (the patient) 13 years ago
See more responses from Diane Parmee
Update posted by Ilovecats (the patient) 13 years ago
See more responses from Diane Parmee
See more responses from Hampshire and Isle of Wight Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust