"Let down by Talk Wandsworth"

I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression for about a year now and hit a real low point in May 2018 where I didn’t want to live anymore. I had never felt this low before. My mum ordered me to visit my GP and the doctor was so lovely and recommended I refer myself to Talk wandsworth. The intital referral and assessment process was very quick (within the matter of three days or so) and the woman I had my assessment with was very nice to me and I felt like I was finally being cared for. I felt proud of myself for making the effort and thought I would finally start to be able to live happily again. I’d been waiting for a reply from TW for a while and finally got a call a few weeks ago. They said I was able to have an appointment for CBT and I was so relieved. When I found out it was only four weeks long I did feel disappointed because I feel like I need more help than that. The person on the phone then said the CBT could only be given to me over the phone, which I didn’t feel was necessary. I prefer to talk face to face and gain trust and relationship with my therapist. I also actually requested for face to face counselling initially anyway. The woman on the phone told me to call back in a few weeks. I got a call today about a slot that has become available and I was relieved. The person on the phone was blunt with me and I felt like I was just interrupting her day. She said I can only have CBT over the phone which again is not what I want. I said I go on holiday in a couple of days and she said to phone back when I get home. I won’t be phoning back and have looked elsewhere for CBT, yet another three months or so waiting on the list ! I feel so let down by TW, they said they would try to help me urgently because i am going back to uni in September but now I feel I won’t even have time for counselling. I’m more upset because I feel like even after I told the therapist in the assessment that I didn’t want to live anymore, I just got left to wait on the list and no one checked to see how I was. Whenever I spoke on the phone with someone at TW, they were so blunt with me. I get that it’s difficult in the NHS and waiting lists can’t be helped but I’m so angry right now at the lack of help for people struggling with mental health. It’s difficult enough when you feel like giving up to even be bothered about reaching out for help, let alone feeling ignored when you do ask for it.