"First midwife appointment"

When I was barely able to see the line on my first pregnancy test in November 2019, I called my medical practice, Cripps Medical Centre. They asked me to do another test in a week's time, after which I called again. From then on, every time, they told me to wait another week or two, and finally gave me another telephone number to call, without explanation. It turned out that this was Radford Medical Practice, the central place for making a first midwife appointment in Nottingham. I provided my contact details and never heard back. I called and called, having many problems getting through to a midwife, and then again, being told to wait another week or two, and that they will call me back. At week 13, they had me 'on the radar' and by week 14, things were very urgent and everything suddenly had to happen. I had just started a new job, not told anyone at work about the pregnancy yet and I don't drive, making same-day visits on the other side of the city in the middle of the day quite difficult. I felt like a failure, with the indirect messages, also coming from midwives and nurses, that the baby was not important to me. I was terrified of losing my job, as I was in the middle of a four-week probationary period, although, as mentioned above, I had called the medical practices as early as possible. I was suddenly swamped with appointments all over the city, during the day, with the longest lasting 3 hours, which I had to work around. It was very stressful.   I did then have a community midwife appointment local to where I live. 

I don't know what went wrong, as everyone I told this story has been surprised. I felt not cared about, including the baby. At the worst points, I considered abortion, because I felt utterly powerless to do my job as a mother, while at the same time facing the accusations for it. The problem was that I had no idea, how pregnancy works in the healthcare system - and no one to ask! The messages from the medical practices were contradictory (call later / call the other number / we don't do pregnancy tests - how should I know??)

Once I got into the system, my first scan was arranged quickly for NUH things improved and the healthcare professionals there and at Queens were very caring, friendly and helpful. It took a while, before the situation relaxed.  I also passed my probation and my colleagues have been very supportive, which is kind of a happy end to the story.