"Leaving."

Strangely enough, I’ve gone through a lot of emotions in the past few hours. Even when trying to block them out. 

Even now I feel kinda better than I did but inside I’m so scared. 4 months in this place and in less than 24 hours I’ll be having a visit somewhere new... 

for me shutting down seems like my only way. Head banging, voices and quite a lot more. I don’t know what to do. Not feeling able to tell staff how I truly feel as I’m getting out and that’s the best outcome! (Hence why I’m writing on here...) I do have a good relationship with staff but now I’m leaving. It’s changing. I don’t know how to interact with them. Or what to tell them. How can I? When nobody knows how much I’m truly struggling... (which is my fault, I haven’t told them...)