"More harm than good"

At no point was I assisted to help with my mental health under this mental health team.

Despite knowing I was constantly dropped from CCos (Care Coordinator), I was still assigned to people on short term contracts. Each time, nobody bothered to read what the person before wrote. This meant that my communication difficulties were not highlighted.

When I moved - which largely happened because I needed a fresh start and couldn't trust services due to iatrogenic harm - they called me 2 months later to ask if I still needed to be seen by services, despite telling them I had left the area and was under a new CMHT. This is also the first time they had ever contacted me to make an appointment, when usually I had to beg to be seen. 

Reception once told me that if I needed help with a crisis, I should really call before 2pm, as though I could get suicidal thoughts on their schedule. My care plan included nothing I found helpful, but rather what a briefly-encountered CCo thought might be useful for me. Someone once told me that I obviously hadn't been in crisis when I called - without follow-up - because I hadn't severely harmed myself, rather than taking ownership for their lack of care or asking how I made it through (which, if they asked, was physically being locked in my own house for my own safety).

I have never been made to feel so unimportant in my life - and I grew up in an abusive household. Every contact with them made me feel worse. I asked for some of my medical notes after I moved and some of the letters and details in assessments don't have a grain of truth in them, even down to basic facts essential to my care. 

I tried to reach out and was made to feel like I deserved to drown.