"Belittled and judged"

I have been admitted to Ward 19 a few times and one nurse in particular took a dislike to me. They belittled my mental health issues, told me I’m not depressed and made me feel like I wasn’t valid/unwell enough to be in hospital. This nurse implied my suicide attempt wasn’t really life-threatening, which was probably the most damaging thing. They kept comparing my issues to others which I never asked them to do, I don’t believe mental health issues should be compared on a scale of severity as they are ALL serious.

I was told that my suicidal behaviour was normal and that everyone experiences it, which was extremely invalidating. I thought of all people a mental health nurse would know how serious suicidal thoughts are and would belittle my experience. I thought they would understand that depression doesn’t look a certain way and that it ranges in severity. This person seemed to be acting as if they had some kind of bias towards those with my condition (going through the diagnostic process still but has been confirmed by my CPN) and seemed to dislike me for that alone.

What this mental health nurse said has affected me in the long-term. I feel more paranoid than usual and I no longer feel comfortable around mental health professionals. I understand how stressed NHS staff are due to underfunding and I respect nurses, but there’s a way to talk to patients and that’s not it. It was extremely harmful. That being said, my stay wasn’t 100% bad. The food was mostly enjoyable and most nurses were nice to me. Visiting is allowed every day which is great.